Who is really looking at my naked pic?

Back in the old days one would have to purchase film, you remember, the black plastic stuff that you would load into a camera. Then you would take the pictures. Then remove the film and be careful not to expose it or the precious memories contained within would be ruined. You would proceed to deliver the film to the drug store where you would fill out an envelope and drop it into a bin to be picked up and taken to a developer. Approximately a week later you would be able to view the pictures you had labored over during a vacation or family outing. Some would be over exposed. Some would have thumb prints that would have to be cut off at a later time. Some would be a shot of the sky and at the very bottom, two small heads would sit with the bodies cut off. Ahhh!, the good old days.

Nowadays one can pick up digital camera or phone, take a picture and send it around the world in a matter of seconds. Today you don't have to think twice before you actually take a picture and hit the send button to the receiving party. This is where we may be going wrong. Before we would take the time to think about what we're taking pictures of because we didn't want to waste the precious 24 pictures included on the roll of film. There were not a whole lot of naked pictures being taken on film that would be developed by a pimply kid your local drug store that saw you every week. How embarrassing would that be??? Maybe back in the day with my swimmer body but today?... NOT ON YOUR LIFE!!! Today you can take provocative pictures and click the send button to anyone and in less than a second the picture is being viewed by the lucky receiver. Just when you think it may have been a bad idea to pose upside down on a couch naked the receiver is now sending your picture to 12 of his/her friends who may or may not know you. Or worse yet... you could be sending your picture to a total stranger who is pretending to be someone they are NOT!!! This is where my story begins... This is where Stupid rings the door bell and a none other than a "car guy" answers and lets him in. (Amazing how they let Stupid in every time. I think they even set a place for Stupid at dinner)

In my old job I would visit car dealers on a daily basis. Most of the time it was a routine visit. I would look at deals, approve or decline them, make small talk, and assure great customer service. From time to time I would walk into a situation that would surprise even the most steady person. In the car world there is a lot of down time for the unmotivated. And there is abundance of the unmotivated personnel in the car business. These people would try to find things to entertain themselves between car sales and financing paperwork.

I was on my regular route, one day, and rolled into a local dealership and proceeded to sit down in front of the sales manager/finance guy. It didn't take me long to realize that as I was speaking he was only half paying attention to me. Now this is not that unusual since I am in my mid-30's and can only get a car to honk if I am walking in the bad part of town. Usually the honking car is a bright bouncing low rider. Those are my only fans at this point in my life. I digress... He was feverishly click-clacking away on the computer. Now, knowing this particular dealer, there is no way he was a actually doing any real work. He was way too enthusiastic. Finally I lost my patience and asked him what he was so diligently working on? Could it be a future sale? Maybe some advertising? How about some follow up on prior "no sale" customers? No, no, no...this dealer was working on his My Space. When he told me this I was interested because I had only heard about My Space and it was a mystery to me. Maybe he could show me the ropes. Direct me on how to find old friends. I was very excited. I tried to get a look at his screen but he abruptly covered it. That is when my antennae went up.

After a little coaxing he finally let me see what he was doing. He had a My Space page up and on the page was a beautiful woman about 22-23 years old. Long brown hair, fake breasts, flat tummy, and big brown eyes. I asked who that was because I was expecting to see his picture (short Latino, wiry hair, big mole, and round belly) on that page. He told me the girl was him. Now, call me STUPID, but no amount of makeup or plastic surgery could make this man look like that girl. So, I bit, I asked how that could possibly be him. He went on to explain to me how he had come up with a great idea to pose as a lesbian to obtain naked pictures of girls on his web page. "Helloooo!! You need to be a woman first, to be a lesbian!!," I said. He had downloaded a picture of a cheerleader from one of the NFL teams (a regular broad would not have been good enough). He posted her picture to that sight and gave her a name, age, occupation, and most importantly a sexual orientation. I still failed to see why he wouldn't just set the site up for himself (other than his looks). Why did he have to pretend to be a lesbian?

He then proceeded to open a file with pictures on the site. They were all pictures of naked chicks. Apparently he had tested the waters of My Space in the past as himself and no one was very willing to send naked shots of themselves. Once he got the bright idea to become an NFL lesbian cheerleader his plan took off like a rocket. He let me in on a little known secret...lesbians are more willing to send naked shots of themselves to other hot lesbian chicks. He had stumbled onto a naked lesbian gold mine. He didn't care that these women didn't want a man because he really didn't stand a chance if they had. He was really just after the naked shots to... I would rather not go there.

As he was showing me all these pictures I was forming a new respect for him. I had always thought he as a very dim bulb in the auto world but all the while he was just putting his time, energy, and brains into other ventures. As my new respect was blossoming a message came up on his page. Some girl was upset with him. She was threatening to turn him into the My Space police. He quickly deleted the message but then it popped up again and this time in stronger language. I had to ask... "Why is she so upset?" You would think that this guy, who had tapped into the mother load of naked pictures would be careful with his new identity. Alas, this was not to be the case. He was after all... only a car guy. They cannot do too many things at one time. Maybe it was the excitement, maybe it was the overflow of pictures, maybe it was just that he had finally come up with a good idea. What ever it was, it was over as soon as he posted... "You are too fine to waste that body on another woman." That was all that needed to be posted. It was too late, he had already hit the send button when he realized what he had done. The girl quickly realized she had been duped. Her only mission in life was to inform the rest of his "friends" on My Space that he was actually a guy and not a hot lesbian chick. As I left his office that day his fingers were flying around the keyboard trying to minimize the damage. It was of no use. By the time I saw him again he was back to playing on line poker as many car guys do to pass the time. His sight had been shut down and he had been exposed for the fraud he was.

The moral of the story is...Know who is on the receiving end of your pictures. Don't be STUPID and send naked pics of yourself to a little Latin car guy with a mole who is masquerading as a hot lesbian. Just don't sent naked pics period!!! You will eventually be sorry.
MxO

First Blog Day Ever

Today is the first day I have ever blogged. Not quite sure what I'm doing at this point. I have always written little blurbs for work as a month end recap. Now, like so many others, I am recently unemployed. My company closed after 56 years of lending to "credit challenged" individuals. I observe so many things on a daily basis and always tell myself " I have got to write this down." Now I finally am.

For a very long time I have thought about possibly submitting a few pieces of humorous writing to a local paper but I could never find the time. Then I was listening to a psychic on the radio a few years back and she was talking about listening to your angels. She said everybody has angels that talk to them in the form of thoughts going through your head. I know this sounds STUPID, but this is, after all, "When Stupid happens!" My angels have always told me to put pen to paper. Until my recent unemployment there has always been something to do other than sitting down to write about stupid things but mostly stupid people including myself.

My angels were talking to me one day while watching Oprah. ( I can do that now that I don't have a job) She had a few guests that were talking about blogging. I have barely signed up for Face Book last month because, once again, I now have the time to learn how it works. So to think about blogging, hmmm, that was just blowing my mind. After my angels put this idea in my head I mulled it around for a few days and thought I should have a clever name for the blog. Think, think, think. Then it came to me over cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream ( I swam that morning so no guilt about the cream). "WHEN STUPID HAPPENS!" I must say that I always encounter stupid things daily. Now maybe most people have the same encounters but I tend to focus on the STUPID as it is happening. It is like watching a car accident. I am a looky-lu when it comes to the STUPID factor. I can't tear my eyes away. Sometimes I can't contain my giggles and sometimes I just have to put on my angry eyes because to be that clueless should be a sign that you are wasting valuable air and space.

I should first tell you that I am a proud mother of a 16 year old son. I had him when I was 19. His father was suppose to JUST be a prom date. Then he was suppose to be JUST someone to pal around with over the summer until I could meet a smart college guy with a future. One thing lead to another and STUPID knocked on my door. Yup, it has even happened to me. Now, I'm not saying that my son was a mistake. I love him dearly. What I am saying is... no one should have a baby at 19 with a boy that was Just a prom date and a pal.

Due to my little life side trip (teen mother) I had to drop out of college and get a job. Once the initial shock of my son wore off I rejoined the college world at the local city college. I got to school at 6 a.m. attended class, went to work at 8 a.m. till 5 p.m. then back to school till 9 p.m. I would see my son in the morning before I left then I would get to see him after he was already in bed. This went on for 3 semesters until I landed a job at a finance office. So, once again, STUPID happened because I didn't finish college again. I worked happily at this office until a larger bank bought us out and started changing everything. I knew I should try to find another job but one just happened to land in my lap.

I was buying a car and the manager asked me if I would like to work in the car business. I promptly told him no but somehow I was starting the next week. This is another moment of STUPID!! As I have come to find out... once you jump into the car business you can never climb out of the rat hole. It's like the mafia. They just suck you in and never let you go. I worked in the car business for 9 years. The first 4 years where at dealerships in the finance department and the last 5 were for a bank that loaned money to the dealership customers. I was a marketing rep traveling daily from one dealership to the next trying to get these guys to use my program. It was utterly exhausting. Many of my adventures on in the car business will show up from time to time on this blog because car guys are like the STUPID fountain that keeps on giving. I will have material from them till I'm dead.

Along the way I got married to my husband of 7 years who happens to be 20 years older. Now you may be thinking to your self "uh-oh another STUPID moment for this gal," but this is not the case (so far). Let's just leave it at that because there is a lot of material provided for this blog by my husband's antics. He has done things that I never thought a relatively intelligent man would do. Fortunately for me, these things he does provide me and my friends with hours of entertaining stories and will give me lots of blog material.

I also have a "Girlfriend" who happens to be a guy. Now you may have your suspicions that he is gay but he is strait, as far as I can tell. He has been married for 13 years and has 2 grown children and a 12 year old. I met him about the same time I started in the car business. He as a marketing rep for a bank and would call on me once in a while. It wasn't until 5 years ago when I, myself, started as a marketing rep that we became close friends. He was/is my foxhole buddy. Everyone should have a foxhole buddy that knows the good, the bad and the ugly. The only problem is... he is always just a little too willing to point out the ugly parts. He will also be a huge part of this blog. When I think about he and I... I always picture one of those old motorcycles with me driving (of course) and him in the side car.

I'm currently gathering my material and hope to mildly entertain whoever may come across this blog.
MXO