I have been married for 7 years to my beloved husband. First you should know, he is a very hard working and well respected commercial banker in our area. He is the "go to" man in the bank when there is a question. We have been on several 5 star vacations sponsored by his bank due to his outstanding loan volume. When there is a new hire my husband is the person they shadow helping to show them the ropes and emerge successful. Alas, once he walks through the front door of our house this persona is shed and he becomes the man I know and love (quirks and all).
My whole life I have always been good at doing things around the house, installing blinds, hanging drapes, connecting TV wires to the gaming systems and DVD components, ETC. I always figured these would be the things my husband would do if I ever got married. Well, as it happens, I did get married and guess what... I'm still doing all these things. My poor husband has never been one to do household fixing. Actually, I should correct myself. He does household fixing but not to the level of satisfaction of anyone who is not visually impaired.
My first experience with his handy work was when we moved into our house. The washer and dryer were new. They needed to be plugged in (that's all). You would think,'No big deal." Well, you would be oh so wrong. The dryer cord needs to be connected to the dryer first before plugging it into the wall. My husband decided he should make sure the plug fit into the wall socket prior to attaching it to the dryer (even though it was an obvious fit) . Anyone who is relatively intelligent knows you don't plug in a cord that has naked unattached wires hanging from the other end. Upon plugging it into the wall socket the naked cords touched each other and exploded, knocking out the breaker and leaving a scorched black mark on the wall where it burnt the paint. NIIIICCCEEEE!!!! My hubby had a nice new hair do from the electricity and was darn lucky he didn't electrocute himself to death.
Men usually have tools in a tool box that they use for household chores. Not my husband. He has a mish-mash of things all thrown together in the garage and gets upset every time he cannot find a screw driver, wire cutters, wrench, etc. Now you may ask... If this man cannot do household repairs why is he looking for these items??? That is a great question and one that needs to be explored. My husband has been known to use the screw drivers to mix paint even though the store gives you wooden paint mixers, weed the lawn of crab grass, and dig in the dirt to plant flowers. Wire cutters are used to cut the spool of wire he keeps in the garage to do his makeshift repairs on random things. He thinks wire can hold anything together in a visually acceptable way. I'm here to tell you that is not the case. When he cannot find the proper tool in his tool heap he raids my kitchen drawers. I cannot tell you how many times he has used one of my good knives to tighten a screw, to weed the flower beds, or preform tricks. Yes... tricks!! He took my large chef knife and threw it in the air and tried to catch it (thinking this would somehow impress me). As it twirled in the air I knew he would miss it and sure enough... it landed on its tip and broke. To this day I have a chef knife with a square tip. This makes me crazy. Some homes have gun safes...I'm gonna get a knife safe to keep him away!!!
There are times when he channels McGuyver. Remember McGuyver?? He was the guy who could fix anything with a stuck of gum and a piece of tin. Well, meet his disabled incarnation. We have a small crape tree in the back yard that was leaning badly against the fence. I had suggested we go to Lowe's and buy the kit to hold the tree in place until it was big enough to stand on its own. My dear husband had a better idea. He took his trusty ball of wire, wire cutters, a wooden stick and one of my good kitchen towels and went to work on that poor defenseless tree. By the time I got home from work that day he had the tree wrapped in my good kitchen towel then on top of that he had wound the wire and attached it to the stick. The stick was perpendicular to the tree and attached to the fence to keep the tree upright. The appearance was terrible. My husband had also forgot about the wind factor (it was March). When the wind kicked up the tree would sway and since he attached it to the fence, the fence would also sway. Not only had he fixed our tree (in his eyes) he had ensured himself another project in the near future because the wobbly fence would also need to be repaired (more like replaced). You don't even want me to go into how he repairs fences.
Did you know that wire can also help prop up plants??? I had no idea until I saw what he did next. We have 3 large planters on the patio. We plant flowers during the spring and they as the season progresses they grow taller. Instead of watering the flowers from the side my husband takes the hose and waters directly on top of the delicate flowers. Due to the heavy water flow (full blast) it collapsed the flowers to one side. So half the pot had standing flowers and the other half was collapsed over the side of the pot. You guessed it... out came the wire and the wire cutters. He cut enough wire to wind around the droopy flowers and lash them to the standing ones. I had never seen Martha Stuart use this method. I watched and let him do his thing. The next day I took those trusty wire cutters and cut the wire off. Wire... who would have thought??? oh yes... That would be my husband.
The yard is a whole other story. My husband refused so have the landscaper put in extra drainage in our backyard because it was going to cost more. I, myself, am very thrifty so I understood where he was coming from but I had also seen backyards flood when rain came. I voiced my opinion. He refused to listen so, Dirty Ernie, (our landscaper, real name, he was cheap) laid our landscape and planted our grass (without drainage). The first rain came and guess what... yup, we flooded (told you so). Our back yard floods every time we have rain or anytime my hubby leaves the sprinklers on too long. Because of the flooding he dug, what I thought would be a small trench off to the side of our porch around the grass to help the water drain from our patio. Pretty soon the trench spanned a quarter circumference around our yard. Then grew to span half our yard. If that wasn't enough he decided to add rocks to trench he dug, thinking this would help the run off. This only backed up the water again. I bet we are the only house in our neighborhood with a moat in the back yard. Sometimes I'm scared I'll find our little dog ,Lulu, drowning in our moat.
The other day I walked into the laundry room and saw the door taped open to the wall. My first thought was my son had been playing with the tape and my husband would be mad due to him touching the wall. I should have known my smart kid would never do this sort of thing. That left my husband as the culprit. He said the door kept closing half way and he wanted it to stay open all the way. Instead of checking the hinges he proceeds to find the masking tape (placed conveniently next to his trusty spool of wire) and tear off a foot long piece then tape the door to the wall because that is the BEST way he figured on fixing it. I tore the tape off in front of him and lo and behold...the door stayed open. He waited for it to close half way and when it didn't he declared his masking tape idea a success. Ugghhh!!!
Can we talk about the fan???? First you should know that back in the day I had a boyfriend who use to hate the fact that I would sleep with a fan in front of my face. He would build a wall between himself and me every night with pillows to avoid the air hitting him. He became known as "Barricade Boy." Well, who ever would have thought I would run into two such people in my lifetime. I broke up with "Barricade Boy" and ended up with "Cataract Man!" My husband cannot stand the ceiling fan. He says it dries out his nasel passages and dries his eyes impairing his television watching. The summers are miserable. I need to have air circulating. I have since stopped sleeping with a fan in my face out of love for my husband but I cannot be without the ceiling fan at the very least. He doesn't build a barricade the way "Barricade Boy" use to but he he definitely has his own unique design. He builds a pillow cave for his head so he can see out the underside of the pillow so as not to have air hitting his sensitive eyes. I tried to have him wear my swim goggles but his head was too big and the goggles too tight. Last night he put on his golf sunglasses. These glasses keep out ALL the sun... they look like cataract glasses. You know the kind the older people wear when they have cataract surgery. I walked into the bedroom with him lying on the bed wearing ONLY his cataract glasses to shield his eyes so he could watch TV. Now that was attractive!!! Hence, "Cataract Man."
There are so many more stories to share but then this would be a novel. I will have continue with more husband stories tomorrow like the time we went to Las Vegas and he thought he was a high roller and only wanted to play Texas Hold'em so I was left as the third wheel with my "Girlfriend" and his wife. Or how about the time he hired and cashier from Jack in the Box because she was cute. Or the time when he bought a mutt for 200 dollars that was suppose to be a Chihuahua. Or the time our dog jumped out of the bed of his truck and almost died after I had warned him not to put her in back. There are so many more stories but alas, I must go start dinner for the family. Writing this has brought back so many memories.
To be continued...
Monday, August 24, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Just say "NO" to the STUPID relationships!!!
In the news this week were stories of two different politicians caught having extra marital affairs. Both wives of these politicians elected not to stand by the men who had humiliated and ultimately treated them with great disrespect. To those women, I stand and applaud your ability to ditch the STUPID moniker that so many women seem so eager to bare as some kind of badge of martyrdom. Why do we ,as women, have to stand by a man who had so little regard for our feelings just to save his career? Well I say... let his career circle the toilet just as he let the marriage follow that same path. Bravo ladies, Bravo!!
I know when we are young, and not so young, we are plagued by stupid things we do for the sake of having, keeping, or sustaining a dying relationship. I have witnessed so many women standing in line for the STUPID moniker that it resembled a line to the ladies restroom at a music concert ( we all know how long that line can be, especially when you really have to go.)
I must admit this blog has been in the back of my mind since the news stories broke. What actually made me sit down and blog about this subject are close friends I care about going through their own maze of stupidity. We all know from doing mazes as children, viewing them from above looks so easy to find the way out. But, for anyone who has ever gone to a life size maze the twists and turns can be daunting. Sometimes you need someone to show you the way out. The same can be said of maneuvering a bad relationship.
There are times when we KNOW we have found the love of our lives. This person is everything we have ever wanted. They take care of us. Love us. Respect us. Go the extra mile for us. Are nicer to us than anyone has ever been in our lives. How can this ever go awry? This is perfect, right??? If you are lucky, you will have all of this on a mutual basis. If not, the relationship becomes very one sided. Something to remember... relationships change. They morph into something sometimes unrecognizable from the original creature. You may find yourself taking a distant back seat to your spouses other interests. Maybe his friends. Could be his children. Could be a backseat to his immaturity. Why do so may of us allow them to place us in the back seat of our relationship? WHY???
When we are placed into this backseat role, why do we say "thank you for the jab to our heart, may I have another?" Why do we just throw our self respect away and keep pursuing them?
Leave them alone!!
Stop wasting time on who they are with, what they are doing, and things they are saying. This is time you are STILL allowing them to rob from your life. I know there are times when the other person will briefly morph back into the person you fell so hard for but beware... they have already displayed the ability to treat you shabbily. Stop thinking the situation will change. We need to ask ourselves this question... If I had a daughter, would I choose THIS man for her or THIS situation? If you say "No," then don't keep accepting the treatment you would not want for your own daughters.
I keep speaking to the women but really this is for everyone whether you be male or female. Do not let anyone steal your self respect or your ability to be happy with your life and the life of your children, if you have children. Anyone who knows me, knows I'm not the biggest kid fan on the face of the planet but I know all children have the right to grow up with caring parents who are happy and not made miserable from a bad situation.
Let those bad relationships go! Don't look back! Don't lament over what may have been. They had their chance. They made their decision. Why waiver on yours? You need to keep moving forward. Once you take a step back you have stepped into the dog doo that is STUPIDITY.
I know when we are young, and not so young, we are plagued by stupid things we do for the sake of having, keeping, or sustaining a dying relationship. I have witnessed so many women standing in line for the STUPID moniker that it resembled a line to the ladies restroom at a music concert ( we all know how long that line can be, especially when you really have to go.)
I must admit this blog has been in the back of my mind since the news stories broke. What actually made me sit down and blog about this subject are close friends I care about going through their own maze of stupidity. We all know from doing mazes as children, viewing them from above looks so easy to find the way out. But, for anyone who has ever gone to a life size maze the twists and turns can be daunting. Sometimes you need someone to show you the way out. The same can be said of maneuvering a bad relationship.
There are times when we KNOW we have found the love of our lives. This person is everything we have ever wanted. They take care of us. Love us. Respect us. Go the extra mile for us. Are nicer to us than anyone has ever been in our lives. How can this ever go awry? This is perfect, right??? If you are lucky, you will have all of this on a mutual basis. If not, the relationship becomes very one sided. Something to remember... relationships change. They morph into something sometimes unrecognizable from the original creature. You may find yourself taking a distant back seat to your spouses other interests. Maybe his friends. Could be his children. Could be a backseat to his immaturity. Why do so may of us allow them to place us in the back seat of our relationship? WHY???
When we are placed into this backseat role, why do we say "thank you for the jab to our heart, may I have another?" Why do we just throw our self respect away and keep pursuing them?
Leave them alone!!
Stop wasting time on who they are with, what they are doing, and things they are saying. This is time you are STILL allowing them to rob from your life. I know there are times when the other person will briefly morph back into the person you fell so hard for but beware... they have already displayed the ability to treat you shabbily. Stop thinking the situation will change. We need to ask ourselves this question... If I had a daughter, would I choose THIS man for her or THIS situation? If you say "No," then don't keep accepting the treatment you would not want for your own daughters.
I keep speaking to the women but really this is for everyone whether you be male or female. Do not let anyone steal your self respect or your ability to be happy with your life and the life of your children, if you have children. Anyone who knows me, knows I'm not the biggest kid fan on the face of the planet but I know all children have the right to grow up with caring parents who are happy and not made miserable from a bad situation.
Let those bad relationships go! Don't look back! Don't lament over what may have been. They had their chance. They made their decision. Why waiver on yours? You need to keep moving forward. Once you take a step back you have stepped into the dog doo that is STUPIDITY.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Who is really looking at my naked pic?
Back in the old days one would have to purchase film, you remember, the black plastic stuff that you would load into a camera. Then you would take the pictures. Then remove the film and be careful not to expose it or the precious memories contained within would be ruined. You would proceed to deliver the film to the drug store where you would fill out an envelope and drop it into a bin to be picked up and taken to a developer. Approximately a week later you would be able to view the pictures you had labored over during a vacation or family outing. Some would be over exposed. Some would have thumb prints that would have to be cut off at a later time. Some would be a shot of the sky and at the very bottom, two small heads would sit with the bodies cut off. Ahhh!, the good old days.
Nowadays one can pick up digital camera or phone, take a picture and send it around the world in a matter of seconds. Today you don't have to think twice before you actually take a picture and hit the send button to the receiving party. This is where we may be going wrong. Before we would take the time to think about what we're taking pictures of because we didn't want to waste the precious 24 pictures included on the roll of film. There were not a whole lot of naked pictures being taken on film that would be developed by a pimply kid your local drug store that saw you every week. How embarrassing would that be??? Maybe back in the day with my swimmer body but today?... NOT ON YOUR LIFE!!! Today you can take provocative pictures and click the send button to anyone and in less than a second the picture is being viewed by the lucky receiver. Just when you think it may have been a bad idea to pose upside down on a couch naked the receiver is now sending your picture to 12 of his/her friends who may or may not know you. Or worse yet... you could be sending your picture to a total stranger who is pretending to be someone they are NOT!!! This is where my story begins... This is where Stupid rings the door bell and a none other than a "car guy" answers and lets him in. (Amazing how they let Stupid in every time. I think they even set a place for Stupid at dinner)
In my old job I would visit car dealers on a daily basis. Most of the time it was a routine visit. I would look at deals, approve or decline them, make small talk, and assure great customer service. From time to time I would walk into a situation that would surprise even the most steady person. In the car world there is a lot of down time for the unmotivated. And there is abundance of the unmotivated personnel in the car business. These people would try to find things to entertain themselves between car sales and financing paperwork.
I was on my regular route, one day, and rolled into a local dealership and proceeded to sit down in front of the sales manager/finance guy. It didn't take me long to realize that as I was speaking he was only half paying attention to me. Now this is not that unusual since I am in my mid-30's and can only get a car to honk if I am walking in the bad part of town. Usually the honking car is a bright bouncing low rider. Those are my only fans at this point in my life. I digress... He was feverishly click-clacking away on the computer. Now, knowing this particular dealer, there is no way he was a actually doing any real work. He was way too enthusiastic. Finally I lost my patience and asked him what he was so diligently working on? Could it be a future sale? Maybe some advertising? How about some follow up on prior "no sale" customers? No, no, no...this dealer was working on his My Space. When he told me this I was interested because I had only heard about My Space and it was a mystery to me. Maybe he could show me the ropes. Direct me on how to find old friends. I was very excited. I tried to get a look at his screen but he abruptly covered it. That is when my antennae went up.
After a little coaxing he finally let me see what he was doing. He had a My Space page up and on the page was a beautiful woman about 22-23 years old. Long brown hair, fake breasts, flat tummy, and big brown eyes. I asked who that was because I was expecting to see his picture (short Latino, wiry hair, big mole, and round belly) on that page. He told me the girl was him. Now, call me STUPID, but no amount of makeup or plastic surgery could make this man look like that girl. So, I bit, I asked how that could possibly be him. He went on to explain to me how he had come up with a great idea to pose as a lesbian to obtain naked pictures of girls on his web page. "Helloooo!! You need to be a woman first, to be a lesbian!!," I said. He had downloaded a picture of a cheerleader from one of the NFL teams (a regular broad would not have been good enough). He posted her picture to that sight and gave her a name, age, occupation, and most importantly a sexual orientation. I still failed to see why he wouldn't just set the site up for himself (other than his looks). Why did he have to pretend to be a lesbian?
He then proceeded to open a file with pictures on the site. They were all pictures of naked chicks. Apparently he had tested the waters of My Space in the past as himself and no one was very willing to send naked shots of themselves. Once he got the bright idea to become an NFL lesbian cheerleader his plan took off like a rocket. He let me in on a little known secret...lesbians are more willing to send naked shots of themselves to other hot lesbian chicks. He had stumbled onto a naked lesbian gold mine. He didn't care that these women didn't want a man because he really didn't stand a chance if they had. He was really just after the naked shots to... I would rather not go there.
As he was showing me all these pictures I was forming a new respect for him. I had always thought he as a very dim bulb in the auto world but all the while he was just putting his time, energy, and brains into other ventures. As my new respect was blossoming a message came up on his page. Some girl was upset with him. She was threatening to turn him into the My Space police. He quickly deleted the message but then it popped up again and this time in stronger language. I had to ask... "Why is she so upset?" You would think that this guy, who had tapped into the mother load of naked pictures would be careful with his new identity. Alas, this was not to be the case. He was after all... only a car guy. They cannot do too many things at one time. Maybe it was the excitement, maybe it was the overflow of pictures, maybe it was just that he had finally come up with a good idea. What ever it was, it was over as soon as he posted... "You are too fine to waste that body on another woman." That was all that needed to be posted. It was too late, he had already hit the send button when he realized what he had done. The girl quickly realized she had been duped. Her only mission in life was to inform the rest of his "friends" on My Space that he was actually a guy and not a hot lesbian chick. As I left his office that day his fingers were flying around the keyboard trying to minimize the damage. It was of no use. By the time I saw him again he was back to playing on line poker as many car guys do to pass the time. His sight had been shut down and he had been exposed for the fraud he was.
The moral of the story is...Know who is on the receiving end of your pictures. Don't be STUPID and send naked pics of yourself to a little Latin car guy with a mole who is masquerading as a hot lesbian. Just don't sent naked pics period!!! You will eventually be sorry.
MxO
Nowadays one can pick up digital camera or phone, take a picture and send it around the world in a matter of seconds. Today you don't have to think twice before you actually take a picture and hit the send button to the receiving party. This is where we may be going wrong. Before we would take the time to think about what we're taking pictures of because we didn't want to waste the precious 24 pictures included on the roll of film. There were not a whole lot of naked pictures being taken on film that would be developed by a pimply kid your local drug store that saw you every week. How embarrassing would that be??? Maybe back in the day with my swimmer body but today?... NOT ON YOUR LIFE!!! Today you can take provocative pictures and click the send button to anyone and in less than a second the picture is being viewed by the lucky receiver. Just when you think it may have been a bad idea to pose upside down on a couch naked the receiver is now sending your picture to 12 of his/her friends who may or may not know you. Or worse yet... you could be sending your picture to a total stranger who is pretending to be someone they are NOT!!! This is where my story begins... This is where Stupid rings the door bell and a none other than a "car guy" answers and lets him in. (Amazing how they let Stupid in every time. I think they even set a place for Stupid at dinner)
In my old job I would visit car dealers on a daily basis. Most of the time it was a routine visit. I would look at deals, approve or decline them, make small talk, and assure great customer service. From time to time I would walk into a situation that would surprise even the most steady person. In the car world there is a lot of down time for the unmotivated. And there is abundance of the unmotivated personnel in the car business. These people would try to find things to entertain themselves between car sales and financing paperwork.
I was on my regular route, one day, and rolled into a local dealership and proceeded to sit down in front of the sales manager/finance guy. It didn't take me long to realize that as I was speaking he was only half paying attention to me. Now this is not that unusual since I am in my mid-30's and can only get a car to honk if I am walking in the bad part of town. Usually the honking car is a bright bouncing low rider. Those are my only fans at this point in my life. I digress... He was feverishly click-clacking away on the computer. Now, knowing this particular dealer, there is no way he was a actually doing any real work. He was way too enthusiastic. Finally I lost my patience and asked him what he was so diligently working on? Could it be a future sale? Maybe some advertising? How about some follow up on prior "no sale" customers? No, no, no...this dealer was working on his My Space. When he told me this I was interested because I had only heard about My Space and it was a mystery to me. Maybe he could show me the ropes. Direct me on how to find old friends. I was very excited. I tried to get a look at his screen but he abruptly covered it. That is when my antennae went up.
After a little coaxing he finally let me see what he was doing. He had a My Space page up and on the page was a beautiful woman about 22-23 years old. Long brown hair, fake breasts, flat tummy, and big brown eyes. I asked who that was because I was expecting to see his picture (short Latino, wiry hair, big mole, and round belly) on that page. He told me the girl was him. Now, call me STUPID, but no amount of makeup or plastic surgery could make this man look like that girl. So, I bit, I asked how that could possibly be him. He went on to explain to me how he had come up with a great idea to pose as a lesbian to obtain naked pictures of girls on his web page. "Helloooo!! You need to be a woman first, to be a lesbian!!," I said. He had downloaded a picture of a cheerleader from one of the NFL teams (a regular broad would not have been good enough). He posted her picture to that sight and gave her a name, age, occupation, and most importantly a sexual orientation. I still failed to see why he wouldn't just set the site up for himself (other than his looks). Why did he have to pretend to be a lesbian?
He then proceeded to open a file with pictures on the site. They were all pictures of naked chicks. Apparently he had tested the waters of My Space in the past as himself and no one was very willing to send naked shots of themselves. Once he got the bright idea to become an NFL lesbian cheerleader his plan took off like a rocket. He let me in on a little known secret...lesbians are more willing to send naked shots of themselves to other hot lesbian chicks. He had stumbled onto a naked lesbian gold mine. He didn't care that these women didn't want a man because he really didn't stand a chance if they had. He was really just after the naked shots to... I would rather not go there.
As he was showing me all these pictures I was forming a new respect for him. I had always thought he as a very dim bulb in the auto world but all the while he was just putting his time, energy, and brains into other ventures. As my new respect was blossoming a message came up on his page. Some girl was upset with him. She was threatening to turn him into the My Space police. He quickly deleted the message but then it popped up again and this time in stronger language. I had to ask... "Why is she so upset?" You would think that this guy, who had tapped into the mother load of naked pictures would be careful with his new identity. Alas, this was not to be the case. He was after all... only a car guy. They cannot do too many things at one time. Maybe it was the excitement, maybe it was the overflow of pictures, maybe it was just that he had finally come up with a good idea. What ever it was, it was over as soon as he posted... "You are too fine to waste that body on another woman." That was all that needed to be posted. It was too late, he had already hit the send button when he realized what he had done. The girl quickly realized she had been duped. Her only mission in life was to inform the rest of his "friends" on My Space that he was actually a guy and not a hot lesbian chick. As I left his office that day his fingers were flying around the keyboard trying to minimize the damage. It was of no use. By the time I saw him again he was back to playing on line poker as many car guys do to pass the time. His sight had been shut down and he had been exposed for the fraud he was.
The moral of the story is...Know who is on the receiving end of your pictures. Don't be STUPID and send naked pics of yourself to a little Latin car guy with a mole who is masquerading as a hot lesbian. Just don't sent naked pics period!!! You will eventually be sorry.
MxO
Friday, April 24, 2009
First Blog Day Ever
Today is the first day I have ever blogged. Not quite sure what I'm doing at this point. I have always written little blurbs for work as a month end recap. Now, like so many others, I am recently unemployed. My company closed after 56 years of lending to "credit challenged" individuals. I observe so many things on a daily basis and always tell myself " I have got to write this down." Now I finally am.
For a very long time I have thought about possibly submitting a few pieces of humorous writing to a local paper but I could never find the time. Then I was listening to a psychic on the radio a few years back and she was talking about listening to your angels. She said everybody has angels that talk to them in the form of thoughts going through your head. I know this sounds STUPID, but this is, after all, "When Stupid happens!" My angels have always told me to put pen to paper. Until my recent unemployment there has always been something to do other than sitting down to write about stupid things but mostly stupid people including myself.
My angels were talking to me one day while watching Oprah. ( I can do that now that I don't have a job) She had a few guests that were talking about blogging. I have barely signed up for Face Book last month because, once again, I now have the time to learn how it works. So to think about blogging, hmmm, that was just blowing my mind. After my angels put this idea in my head I mulled it around for a few days and thought I should have a clever name for the blog. Think, think, think. Then it came to me over cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream ( I swam that morning so no guilt about the cream). "WHEN STUPID HAPPENS!" I must say that I always encounter stupid things daily. Now maybe most people have the same encounters but I tend to focus on the STUPID as it is happening. It is like watching a car accident. I am a looky-lu when it comes to the STUPID factor. I can't tear my eyes away. Sometimes I can't contain my giggles and sometimes I just have to put on my angry eyes because to be that clueless should be a sign that you are wasting valuable air and space.
I should first tell you that I am a proud mother of a 16 year old son. I had him when I was 19. His father was suppose to JUST be a prom date. Then he was suppose to be JUST someone to pal around with over the summer until I could meet a smart college guy with a future. One thing lead to another and STUPID knocked on my door. Yup, it has even happened to me. Now, I'm not saying that my son was a mistake. I love him dearly. What I am saying is... no one should have a baby at 19 with a boy that was Just a prom date and a pal.
Due to my little life side trip (teen mother) I had to drop out of college and get a job. Once the initial shock of my son wore off I rejoined the college world at the local city college. I got to school at 6 a.m. attended class, went to work at 8 a.m. till 5 p.m. then back to school till 9 p.m. I would see my son in the morning before I left then I would get to see him after he was already in bed. This went on for 3 semesters until I landed a job at a finance office. So, once again, STUPID happened because I didn't finish college again. I worked happily at this office until a larger bank bought us out and started changing everything. I knew I should try to find another job but one just happened to land in my lap.
I was buying a car and the manager asked me if I would like to work in the car business. I promptly told him no but somehow I was starting the next week. This is another moment of STUPID!! As I have come to find out... once you jump into the car business you can never climb out of the rat hole. It's like the mafia. They just suck you in and never let you go. I worked in the car business for 9 years. The first 4 years where at dealerships in the finance department and the last 5 were for a bank that loaned money to the dealership customers. I was a marketing rep traveling daily from one dealership to the next trying to get these guys to use my program. It was utterly exhausting. Many of my adventures on in the car business will show up from time to time on this blog because car guys are like the STUPID fountain that keeps on giving. I will have material from them till I'm dead.
Along the way I got married to my husband of 7 years who happens to be 20 years older. Now you may be thinking to your self "uh-oh another STUPID moment for this gal," but this is not the case (so far). Let's just leave it at that because there is a lot of material provided for this blog by my husband's antics. He has done things that I never thought a relatively intelligent man would do. Fortunately for me, these things he does provide me and my friends with hours of entertaining stories and will give me lots of blog material.
I also have a "Girlfriend" who happens to be a guy. Now you may have your suspicions that he is gay but he is strait, as far as I can tell. He has been married for 13 years and has 2 grown children and a 12 year old. I met him about the same time I started in the car business. He as a marketing rep for a bank and would call on me once in a while. It wasn't until 5 years ago when I, myself, started as a marketing rep that we became close friends. He was/is my foxhole buddy. Everyone should have a foxhole buddy that knows the good, the bad and the ugly. The only problem is... he is always just a little too willing to point out the ugly parts. He will also be a huge part of this blog. When I think about he and I... I always picture one of those old motorcycles with me driving (of course) and him in the side car.
I'm currently gathering my material and hope to mildly entertain whoever may come across this blog.
MXO
For a very long time I have thought about possibly submitting a few pieces of humorous writing to a local paper but I could never find the time. Then I was listening to a psychic on the radio a few years back and she was talking about listening to your angels. She said everybody has angels that talk to them in the form of thoughts going through your head. I know this sounds STUPID, but this is, after all, "When Stupid happens!" My angels have always told me to put pen to paper. Until my recent unemployment there has always been something to do other than sitting down to write about stupid things but mostly stupid people including myself.
My angels were talking to me one day while watching Oprah. ( I can do that now that I don't have a job) She had a few guests that were talking about blogging. I have barely signed up for Face Book last month because, once again, I now have the time to learn how it works. So to think about blogging, hmmm, that was just blowing my mind. After my angels put this idea in my head I mulled it around for a few days and thought I should have a clever name for the blog. Think, think, think. Then it came to me over cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream ( I swam that morning so no guilt about the cream). "WHEN STUPID HAPPENS!" I must say that I always encounter stupid things daily. Now maybe most people have the same encounters but I tend to focus on the STUPID as it is happening. It is like watching a car accident. I am a looky-lu when it comes to the STUPID factor. I can't tear my eyes away. Sometimes I can't contain my giggles and sometimes I just have to put on my angry eyes because to be that clueless should be a sign that you are wasting valuable air and space.
I should first tell you that I am a proud mother of a 16 year old son. I had him when I was 19. His father was suppose to JUST be a prom date. Then he was suppose to be JUST someone to pal around with over the summer until I could meet a smart college guy with a future. One thing lead to another and STUPID knocked on my door. Yup, it has even happened to me. Now, I'm not saying that my son was a mistake. I love him dearly. What I am saying is... no one should have a baby at 19 with a boy that was Just a prom date and a pal.
Due to my little life side trip (teen mother) I had to drop out of college and get a job. Once the initial shock of my son wore off I rejoined the college world at the local city college. I got to school at 6 a.m. attended class, went to work at 8 a.m. till 5 p.m. then back to school till 9 p.m. I would see my son in the morning before I left then I would get to see him after he was already in bed. This went on for 3 semesters until I landed a job at a finance office. So, once again, STUPID happened because I didn't finish college again. I worked happily at this office until a larger bank bought us out and started changing everything. I knew I should try to find another job but one just happened to land in my lap.
I was buying a car and the manager asked me if I would like to work in the car business. I promptly told him no but somehow I was starting the next week. This is another moment of STUPID!! As I have come to find out... once you jump into the car business you can never climb out of the rat hole. It's like the mafia. They just suck you in and never let you go. I worked in the car business for 9 years. The first 4 years where at dealerships in the finance department and the last 5 were for a bank that loaned money to the dealership customers. I was a marketing rep traveling daily from one dealership to the next trying to get these guys to use my program. It was utterly exhausting. Many of my adventures on in the car business will show up from time to time on this blog because car guys are like the STUPID fountain that keeps on giving. I will have material from them till I'm dead.
Along the way I got married to my husband of 7 years who happens to be 20 years older. Now you may be thinking to your self "uh-oh another STUPID moment for this gal," but this is not the case (so far). Let's just leave it at that because there is a lot of material provided for this blog by my husband's antics. He has done things that I never thought a relatively intelligent man would do. Fortunately for me, these things he does provide me and my friends with hours of entertaining stories and will give me lots of blog material.
I also have a "Girlfriend" who happens to be a guy. Now you may have your suspicions that he is gay but he is strait, as far as I can tell. He has been married for 13 years and has 2 grown children and a 12 year old. I met him about the same time I started in the car business. He as a marketing rep for a bank and would call on me once in a while. It wasn't until 5 years ago when I, myself, started as a marketing rep that we became close friends. He was/is my foxhole buddy. Everyone should have a foxhole buddy that knows the good, the bad and the ugly. The only problem is... he is always just a little too willing to point out the ugly parts. He will also be a huge part of this blog. When I think about he and I... I always picture one of those old motorcycles with me driving (of course) and him in the side car.
I'm currently gathering my material and hope to mildly entertain whoever may come across this blog.
MXO
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